wife, mom, nurse

HELP!

Sometimes i feel like there are way to many things on my plate! I was thinking the other day that all the "hats" i wear are people oriented. They are all jobs that require me to be giving of myself. That isnt' bad, but is often very draining.

I am an extrovert. I love being around people. I love having people over, and i love spending my free time with...yup, People!

What i am realizing is that all the hats i wear are also all about people. I love that. I love being a wife, i adore being a mom to my kids, and i am blessed with the gift of being a nurse to hurting people and families. But what about me? Taking a day off to spend with my family or friends isn't "filling my tank" like it used to.

I was reading my bible the other day with a cup of coffee and it dawned on me how long it had been since i cracked the bible open. way to long.

I am empty, depleted, out of my go juice!

Sometimes i just read one psalms and almost feel a sense of stupidity that i've let so much time come between my God. When i am empty and depleted of all that is happening around me. When i feel like i can't give to my family like i want to or to my patients like i know i should, i need to refocus. Refocus for me is in the Word. In the quiet moments (yes, they are few and super short) with my Bible, it is amazing how fast God can shift my world from "me me me" to everything else he has entrusted me with.

When i get down, empty, and don't want to keep giving of myself, it's amazing what opening the Word does. I realize i am naturally selfish. I want what is best for me. Yes i look out for my family, my kids, my husband and my patients at work, but my focus is still myself. In the midst of taking care of everyone else, the root of my emptiness is that i am focused on myself.

Lord help me refocus on you. I have been entrusted with great responsibilities to my family and to the families i take care of. Help me do what i do daily for you, not for myself. Help me see the value in a hug, and warmth in a smile. Thank you for loving me in-spite of my daily failures and bad attitudes.


Amen