God's plans are not our own

It seems everyone around me is pregnant or wanting to get pregnant.
Some pregnant people are happy.
Some are surprised.
Some people wanting to concieve are ok with not,
others are heart-broken.

When Jason and i first got married i set out to have a family of 3-4 kids.

Never 2.

Never in a million years would i think a doctor would tell my husband and i that i couldn't have anymore kids. How could this woman tell me that? I wanted more. My family was not complete.

So i write this from a heart of understanding the longing in your gut for a baby.

It never took Jason and I long to concieve. The longest was with Jocelyn and that was only 6 months. I remember in that 6 months growing so frustrated with myself. I was so upset that i wasn't pregnant. Finally one day i just gave it up to God. I couldn't take it anymore. I was done.

Done trying.
Done with that dang calendar.
Done with "the schedule".
Done.

The next month i got pregnant.

I relied soely on God. Not myself.

I think God uses the times for woman of "wanting" and "needing" a child for his glory.

There is something in a heart of a woman that desires and needs a baby. We were created to bear children. It is our nature to want to carry a child to term. It is woven inside of us that deep desire to create and nurture life.

Why wouldn't God use this to create a deeper dependence on him?
Of course he would. It's a perfect opportunity to shape a woman's heart toward his own.

All things happen for a reason. I believe this with every fiber of my being.

I, almost daily if i'm being honest, need to remind myself to not grow weary or frustrated that i can't have more children. It is a daily reliance on God for peace in his perfect plan, not mine.