Walking through the Fire

Re-Fining: to bring to a fine  or a pure state; free from impurities


Jason and i were taking a drive yesterday talking about how thankful we are.
Wonderful family.
Amazing friends.
Stable jobs we love.
We are thankful.
The conversation then lead us to a time when life wasn't so great, friends were rare, and jobs were not something we liked to talk about.


There was a period here at Creekside (When it was called Northgate) I thought God was playing a cruel joke on us.


For about 2 years we felt so alone. Youth ministry was so hard. Lonely. Isolate. Friends we had, but didn't know our struggles. We were scared.


During the course of those 2 years we got hate letters, rooms torn apart in the church and written F*** you on boards with our names on it and windows broken. We had stuff of ours stolen and our friends stuff stolen because the students thought it was ours. Life was not fun. Life was actually scary.


I would cry all the time, telling Jason please don't tell the students where we live. Please don't let our address get out. I was so scared they would come and ruin our cars or burn our house down. 


The hate was thick.


We made it through. Eventually.


Through lots of tears, prayers, screams, and tantrums, we made it through the fire.


Now we sit at the same church, but with a whole different attitude.


We have friends we love and will most certainly have the rest of our life.
We love our church and feel 100% supported by our church.


Had we not walked through the fire.
Had we not been re-fined by God.
Had we not learned to cry out in anger and bear our entire soul to the God who created us,
we would not be here today.


Life would not be so sweet, had we not known how bitter it was.


I wish no one to go through the fear we went through those years. The ache in our hearts to see students change but the fear we were in the absolute wrong place.


On the flip side. 


Jason and i would not be who we are today as a couple, as people, and for him as a church leader had we not walked through the fire with our heads up.


God's re-fining process is hard. It can seem so long and the road ahead can seem so blurry. 
There is a great peace on the other side that you got through. You walked the road he intended, you did as he asked, and he has been faithful to refine you to the man or woman of he has intended you to be.


Don't be scared of the fire.
Walk through with boldness.
Learn to trust the God who knit you together.
Amazing things happen in your heart and relationships when you are re-fined to a pure state; free from impurities.