Sensative

So last night was fun! The 4th of July came with another bang of a party at our house! Pretty sure this will be our last year. Jason said we should "coinsidently" plan to be out of town next year! We'll see what happens.

We always enjoy having all our friends over. So maybe a party without fireworks will be in order to keep the partying alive!

I have something upsetting in my heart that i'm not sure how to handle. So as usual, i use my blog to figure out my feelings and get them out!

My sweet, funny, tender hearted, and sensative Judah is on my heart this morning. Last night was fun for him but he was interacting with the kids and later realized his feelings were hurt. He felt left out. So hard as a parent to sit back and watch how your kids deal with those feelings.

Judah is 4. Most of the kids that came last night (except 1) was older or younger than him. For the first few hours he ran around with everyone laughing with his cousins and having a blast. But as the night wore on he got tired. And for Judah, when you are tired, that means you fall apart every little bump or fall. And so the water works continued each time we walked away Jason and i would hear him crying about a little fall, dirt on his pants, or someone didn't give him the attention he wanted.

Jason and i talked a little after the kids were in bed and the house was quiet about how Judah is different. Jason was pretty sure he was feeling left out at times and i was pretty sure he was so exhausted he couldn't think straight -- hence he was doing crazy weird things.

But-- We both agreed that we have a tender hearted boy who is fun loving and totally 4! Often when Judah cries out, i hear our friends start to laugh at him or say "my goodness-- toughen up!" or something along those lines. My heart always hurts a little when i hear that.

Toughen up.  Not something  my son is wired to do. My daugheter--yes! Never cries when she falls, just gets right back up looks at me and says "I ok"! But Judah is different.

I often get frustrated with Judah when i hear him crying. But deep down, i know it's probably his feelings hurt or he's embarressed. 

So for now! I'll cuddle him.  Tell him he's ok.  Ask him if he wants to go play some more (which the answer is always yes!), and continue to be the arms of love he needs when he falls and hurts himself. May not be big in the eyes of others, but if Judah needs extra love and time then that's fine with me. All kids are wired differently. I can't let other parents gestures and talk cloud my mind when it comes to loving my kids. Yes, there are times he needs to buck up and deal with it. But as his mom. I know those times better than others, i know also when he is tired and the tears are from that. I also know when his feelings are being hurt and crying is the only logical thing for him to do.

Thanks for reading. For me, i have to get these feelings out.  This blog has been a good sounding board when i have stuff swirling around in my head and heart and need a place to unload. I do it here!

Parenting is a crazy journey. Blessed to have a Godly man stand by my side in this ride. Also blessed with 2 wonderful children who keep my knees in the ground... :)