Fingerprints of God

Today was Judah's first day at Kindergarten.
It was a horrible drop off.
Judah never cries when dropping him off at new places. Loves people and new things. Today was so different.
He was scared. His face was full of fear, and his cry was gentle.

Luckily Jason came with us to drop him off, so when i started to loose it i grabbed Jocelyn and he walked into his class with him.

I came home a mess.
Should I homeschool?
Is he prepared for this?
Does he feel like i deserted him?

I could only sit and pray to the God i knew who was with him.
For some you may wonder and sit and think that i'm crazy for having these emotions.
I think i'm crazy too.

Never in a million years would i think today would end in Judah & I in tears.
But giving over one of my most precious gifts to someone else was terrifying.

After school i thought it would be fun to walk to the park and have lunch and play a little while. My sister and some of her kids joined me. At the park, Judah walked up to a little girl and said "Hi, i know you, you were in preschool with me." So began Judah and this little girl talking about kindergarten and how much fun it was. Then they proceeded to play pirates on the playground.

God knows me.
He knows my fears.
When i cried and prayed Jesus would be with Judah today when i couldn't be, he was.
Him knowing this little girl had the fingerprints of God all over it.
To some not a big deal. To me, it was the world.
To see Judah outgoing, smiling, laughing, falling and not crying, and acting like a boy filled my heart with Joy.

I then proceeded to take the kids to see my mom. Mostly i wanted to see my mom. I was a mess of tears and sometimes you just need your mom. I told the kids it was for them to see Nana, but we all know the truth. This mom needed her mom!